you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If I die, sorry about rent.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
