Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
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