I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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