of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
