The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
