For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
