So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
