yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
