Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
