Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I pour the whiskey from now on
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
