What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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