Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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