my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize