The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
