Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just cropdusted the office
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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