So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
