Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize