Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
