North Korea, Best Korea!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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