brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize