I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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