is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize