Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
