But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
