I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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