Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Can I color on your dick again?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
