Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize