did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
