I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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