yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
