i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So much Jack, so little girl.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
