How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
