And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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