Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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