Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
