Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
