My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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