We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
