forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
