I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
