ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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