dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
dude. I can hear the air.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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