why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
