Someone shit on the floor
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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