Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize