Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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