porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
