Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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