my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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