would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
