I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
