she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Randomize