Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
