There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
