I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
