we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
