My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
