you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
