My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
