Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
