Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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